isa-normaladvance-1914-00135

Description:	THE NORMAL ADVANCE135Diogenes Cfjestnut leakerMiss Price (In rural training school) : What do we find in the hair, James?James: We find small openings near the roots of hairs.Miss Price: Yes, and what else do we some¬ times find in the hair?James: Teacher, I dont like to tell.Miss•: Im never happy unless ImCity Suffragette (Rising in bed) : Semanthie, I believe the gas is leaking.Country Suffragette (Uncovering her mouth) Land sakes, Ernestines poke a pan under it and go to sleep.Prof. Curry: Mr. Stork, have you read Freckles?Stork: Why, I seldom have red freckles in the winter, but I usually have some in the summer.(News Item) : The average mans arm is thirty inches long the average womans waist Is thirty inches around. How wonderful are thy works, O Nature!Miss Cox (dismissing German class) : Well, God be with you till we meet again.Mr. Hayes: You ought to amend that a little and say, God be with you when we meetacram.Miss Burkett (In Society meeting) : Why not have a meeting on January the thirty-first  is that Washingtons birthday Howard: Mother, do you know why Lo- raine is so much like a duck Mother: No son—why is she?Howard: Because she is always saying, Whack! Whack! Whack!breaking into song.Young Man: Why dont you get the key, and you wont have to break in?Wife: They say if you take this new elixir of life you may live to be one hundred and fifty years old.Husband: If I were a bachelor, I should buy a bottle.Miss Rhyan (at the cottage) : Why, there isnt a bit of cream on this bottle of milk!Miss Carrithers: The milkman said they filled the bottles so full of milk that no room remained at the top for cream.A man was being tried for petty theft. The article in question was an auger. A witness was on the stand.Do you know this auger in question? in¬ quired the Judge.I most certainly do, your Honor, answered the witness.How long have you known this auger  continued the Judge.Why Judge, said the man. I have known this auger ever since it was a gimlet.Two boys had been bad in school. The teacher punished them by keeping them after school and compelling them to write their names six hundred times. They had scarcely started on their arduous task when the teacher found one of the boys crying.What is the matter? she asked.This isnt fair, sobbed the boy.Why not? she asked.Because his name is Bush, and mine Hoopengarner.
Source:	http://indstate.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/isuarchive/id/32587
Collection:	Indiana State University Archives

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