isa-normaladvance-1914-00136

Description:	136.THE NORMAL ADVANCETeacher: Johnny, what is the shape of the earth?Johnny: Round.Teacher: How do you know?Johnny: Oh well, have it square then. I wont argue the question.A little girl rushed into a drug store and called for a bottle of liniment and a bottle of glue.What do you want with such a combination as that? asked the druggist.Oh, mother is having a Suffrage Tea, and Miss Ray struck Miss Freitag with a plate, answered the little girl.First Lady: Arent these wide bottomedskirts provoking?Second Lady (old-fashioned) : Why? First Lady: You have to take two steps tomake your dress, take one.Miss Stirling: I understand Mercker is a finished cornetist. Miss White: Good—who did it?Grose: Is there really anything that you can do better than anyone else?Fry: Yes, I can read my own writing and nobody else can do that.Doctor Bean: Has anyone anything else to say about imagination?Glen Davis (wildly waving his hand): I— er—think it makes some people talk a lot some¬ times.Jackson: What are you eating so fast for, Bert?Ellis: For my dyspepsia.Your dyspepsia?Yes, the doctor said I should rest anJackson:Ellishour after each meal. How in thunder am I to rest an hour and get to chorus in time unless I eat like the dickens now ?Whack (rushing up to Union Station ticket- office with a five dollar bill to purchase two tickets. Time 1:45 p. m.) : Has that 2:45 train gone?Agent (looking at clock: does not leave until 2:45.Please sir, itSAMS 23.My wife is the boss. I shall not deny it. She maketh me to lie down behind the stove when swell company comes, and she leadeth me be¬ hind her up Main Street.She restoreth my pocket-book after she has spent all of its contents for hobble skirts and theatre tickets and she leadeth me up the aisle at church for her new hats sake.Yea, though I walk more than half the night through dark rooms with a crying baby, I shall get no rest, for she is behind me, her broom¬ stick and her hatpin—they do everything else but comfort me.She prepareth a cold snack for me, then maketh a bee-line for an Aid Society supper.She annointeth my head with the rolling pin occasionally. My arm runneth over with bundles before she is half through with her shopping.Surely her dressmakers and milliners bills will follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of my wife forever.
Source:	http://indstate.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/isuarchive/id/32588
Collection:	Indiana State University Archives

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