isa-normaladvance-1903-00144

Description:	144THE NORMAL ADVANCE.Exchanges.Tramp:—Have you anything to do in my linetoday, madam ?Lady:—What is your business?Tramp:—Im a dentist maam. Ill put a goodset of teeth in a mince pie for you, free of charge.Auntie (to little Tommy who has returned fromhis first day of school) :—What did you learn?Tommy:—Didnt learn anything.Auntie:—What did you do ?Tommy:—Didnt do anything. There was awoman there who wanted to know how to spellcat and I told her.—The Literary Digest.The Answer:—Poetical and Pedantic younglady. (Walking in the wood with elderly andlearned professor.) :—Oh Mr. Bookworm, look atthat magnificent oak! Let us stop one minute. Imust tell you how the sight of such beautiful treesraises keen emotions in my soul because you know,Im sure they can hear us and enjoy a complimentas well as you do. You superb oak, what wouldyou say if you could talk ?I believe I can be his interpreter, dear MissHopkins. He would most likely say, Beg yourpardon, miss, Im a beech.—Tit-Bits.HIS IDEA OF IT.Sunday School Teacher:—Reginald, can yourepeat the shortest commandment? It has butfour words.Reginald:—Keep off the grass.ACCOUNTED FOR.Mother:—Johnny, how is it you stand so muchlower in your studies in January than you did inDecember ?Son:—Oh, everything is marked down afterholidays.—Puck.ARTHURS ANSWER.Pleasant Old Gentleman:—Have you livedhere all your life, my little man ?Arthur (aged six) :—Not yet.—LippincottsMagazine.SIGNS OF THE TIMES.In a Montana hotel there is a notice that reads:Boarders taken by the day, week or month.Those who do not pay promptly will be taken bythe neck.—London Tit-Bits.DRAMATIC TRUTHS.You can ttell a theatrical manager by the company he keeps.Although building contractors are not actors,yet we often see them bringing down the house.The farmer in the rustic play is liked the heroreceives applause, but no one takes as well as thepickpocket.Because an actress has wings on either side ofher, does not prove that she is an angel.—Smart Set.Gentlemen of the jury, said the counsel in anagricultural case, there were thirty-six hogs in thelot—thirty-six, I want you to remember that number—thirty-six hogs—just three times the number there are in the jury box. And no wonderthat he lost his case.—Methodist Protestant.Jones:—Im quite a near neighbor of yours now.Ive taken a house by the river.Mrs. Golightly:—Oh, I hope youll drop in someday.—Ex.Evolution, quoth the monkey,Makes all mankind our kin Theres no chance at all about it,Tails we lose, heads we win. —Ex.He put his arm around her,The color left her cheekIt showed upon his overcoatFor just about a week. —Ex.The person that knows not and knows that heknows not is a Freshman and ought to be encouraged. The person that knows not and knows not ■that he knows not is a Sophomore and ought to besquelched. The person that knows and knows notthat he knows is a Junior and ought to be re-
Source:	http://indstate.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/isuarchive/id/33917
Collection:	Indiana State University Archives

Further information on this record can be found at its source.