isa-normaladvance-1914-00083

Description:	THE NORMAL ADVANCE83©togene* Cfjestnut ^ftafeerJUST ABOUT IT.Here is the way I heard a country school teacher define the wrord mouth, not long since: Mouth is the front of your face. It is the aperture to the cold storage of your anatomy. Some mouths are like peaches and cream and some look like a hole in a brick wall chopped there to admit a new door or wdndow. The mouth is a hot bed of toothaches, the bunghole of oratory and a babys crowning glory. It is the crimson aisle to your liver and natures ap paratus for blowing out the gas. It is patrio tisms fountain head and the tool chest for pie. Without it the politician would be a w7anderer on the face of the earth and the cornetist and the chorus girl would go down to an unhonored grave. It is the grocers friend, the preachers pride, and the dentists hope. It puts some men on the rostrum and sends many to the rock pile. It is temptations lunch counter when at¬ tached to a maiden, and tobacconists friend when attached to a man. Without it married life would be a perpetual summer dream and the dude would lose half of his attractions. And most of all the greatest of all if there were no mouths there be no goodbys or happy greet¬ ings, no words of comfort or hope, no laughter full of sunshine or songs full of praise, the hired man could not be called to dinner, and no one would ask: Who is in the lead for the post-office?—Ex.ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENTS.Weve made a lot of progress and the w7orlds a glorious place. Inventors have worked won¬ ders for the hustling human race. We speed and fly and talk through space and swim be¬ neath the sea. Were careless and the elements are toys for you and me. But we dont knowit all, my friends, and we have lots to learn. We build real fireproof buildings, but the blamed things sometimes burn. Were not such cocksure wonders as most of us now think. Our ships are all unsinkable, but now and then they sink.Makes no difference where you get emTurn in jokes  We dont care how long youve known emTurn in jokes  You should worry, you should durn, You should evince great concern But be agitated. LearnTo turn in jokes. Editors Note: This is only the second at¬ tempt, so have patience.Miss Bottsfords (in music): Miss Boden¬ hafer, who composed this piece of music?Miss Bodenhafer: The composer of this piece is that great Italian composer, DeCapo. I see his name at the beginning of so much music.Miss Cox (in grammar) : Tell me, Mr. Neier, why we are called the fair sex?Mr. Neier: Well, I am sure I do not know.Abe Martin sez: A house divided against it¬ self is bad enough, but a skirt is th limit,It was married mens night at the revival meeting. »Let all you husbands who have trouble on your mind to stand up ! shouted the emotional preacher at the height of his spasm.Instantly every man in the church rose to his feet except one.Ah! exclaimed the preacher, peering out at this lone sitter, who occupied a chair near
Source:	http://indstate.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/isuarchive/id/32527
Collection:	Indiana State University Archives

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