Bloomington High School, The Gothic, 1915, Page 82

Description:	4THE INFORMERTHE INFORMERBy The Gothic Publishing Co.Founded 1915HUGH W. NORMAN, Editor.H. BURTON WOOLERY, Bus. Mgr.Entered as second class matter at theHigh School, Bloomington, Indiana.Terms of SubscriptionDaily and Sunday, by mail, 1 yr$7.50Daily, by mail, one year5.00Sunday, by mail, one year2.50By CarrierDaily, six days10 centsDaily and Sunday, one week15 centsDaily, one month45 centsDaily and Sunday, one month65 centsThe average net sworn circulation ofThe Informer for the month of Aprilwas:Daily79,256Sunday93,499Persons unable to obtain copies ofThe Informer on trains or in other ci-ties will confer a favor by notifyingthis office to that effect.TUESDAY, JULY 1, 1944.If you cant own the town, dontdisown it.In some respects this town is notperfect; are you?What this town needs isnt faultfinders, but fault fixers.This town will never grow on mon-ey sent to some other town.The country is growing in popular-tion; is this town keeping up?The man who begins to plan forthis town will soon be calling it mytown.This town doesnt need boosting anymore than other towns, but it needsit just as much.This town had to be started bysomebody; it has got to be kept go-ing by somebody else.The pioneers thought this was agood place for a town; lets make it apoor place for knockers.The easiest way to make thingsright at Washington is to begin bymaking things right at home.Remember there is one big differ-ence between this town and all othertowns. This town is where you live.Yesterday is gone, tomorrow maynever come. Today is your best op-portunity. So is this town.If you are a wage earner here thistown spends its money with you; doyou spend your money with the town?MULTIPLICATION OF LAWSAre your neighbors very bad?Pass a law!Do they smoke? Do they chew?Are they bothering you?Dont they do as you would do?Pass a law!Are your wages awful low?Pass a law!Are the prices much too high?Do the wife and babies cryCause the turkeys roost too high?Pass a law!When M. D. finds new diseases,Pass a law!Got the mumps or enfermesis,Measles, croup or expertisis?Lest we might all fly to pieces,Pass a law!Are the lights a-burning red?Pass a law!Paint em green, or paint em white!Close up all the places tight!My! Our town is such a sight!Pass a law!No matter what the trouble is,Pass a law!Goodness sakes, but aint it awful?My! What are we going to do?Almost anything aint lawful,And the Judge is human, too!Pass a law!--Public.The Daily NoveletteRefusedWhat sadness andWhat gladness, oneWord may contain.LaFontain--(Editors Note.--We offer our faith-ful readers today one of Mr. SkittletonBarrows famous one-word plays. Itis needless to say that the securing ofthe American rights of Refused costus a small fortune, so we refrain fromsaying it.)She (as he dropped on his knees)--No.He (surprised)--No?She (emphatically)--No!He (dully, trying to get it throughhis head)--No.She (helping him to understand)--No!!(He rises from his knees and sits onthe sofa beside her, then, decidingthat she has only been fooling, hetries to kiss her.)She (drawing away)--No.He (really taken aback)--No?She (with her nose in the air)--No.He (reaching for his hat and look-ing over his shoulder on the way tothe door, to give her one morechance)--No?She (firmly)--No!He (dismally, convinced at last)--No.(Curtain.)Umbrella HistoryThats a fine umbrella you carry.Yes.Did you come by it honestly?I havent quite made it out. Itstarted to rain the other day and Istepped into a doorway to wait till itstopped. Then I saw a young fellowcoming along with a nice large um-brella and I thought if he were goingas far as my house I would beg theshelter of his umbrella. So I steppedout and asked, Where are you goingwith that umbrella, young fellow? andhe dropped the umbrella and ran.Hes WiseEvery seat in an outgoing street carhad been taken. At the next cornerseveral well-dressed ladies were leton. As the conductor passed thrutaking fares he noticed a gentlemanon an end seat who had fallen asleep,says Judge.Wake up here! he shouted to him,No sleeping on this car!Im not asleep, sir, said the man.If you wasnt asleep, what did youhave your eyes closed then for?Well, said the gentleman, youknow I just hate to see ladies standing up.Why They Followed HimThere was a time when McFee glo-ried in the fact that he was the fatherof nine children, even if they wereon the lines of the proverbial humanstep ladder, but on the day when hewas taking them out for a walk hefelt chagrined. He was walking alongat a fairly good gait when he washalted by a policeman, who asked:I say, you, what have you beendoing?Nothing, replied McFee. Why?Well, whats the crowd followingyou for?A Political BossA young lady reporter on a countrypaper was sent out to interview lead-ing citizens as to their policies. MayI see the gentleman of the house?she asked of a large woman who op-ened the door of one residence.No, you cant! answered the wo-man decisively.But I want to know what party hebelongs to, pleaded the girl.Well, take a good look at me, shesaid sternly; Im the party he be-longs to.
Source:	http://cdm17129.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/hs-bloom/id/1604
Collection:	Bloomington High School

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