isa-normaladvance-1913-00139

Description:	THE NORMAL ADVANCE139Calhoun Clay opened a bank in NolaChucky.All the colored people around Nola Chuckydeposited their savings in Calhouns bank andCal soon began to wear, instead of cowhideboots and jeans, patent leathers and broadcloth.Then, one day, Wash White called at thebank and said:Id like for to draw out my money, sah!Your money, said the banker, lighting a10-cent cigar.Yes, sah, my $10.Your $10?Yes, my $10 What I posited last summer.Why, man alive! shouted Banker CalhounClay angrily, dont you know the interestdone et that up three months ago?Carl Miller (stepping up to Prof. Rettger ina very self-important manner)—Professor, Ihave not been very successful in serving humanity, so when I die I want my skull left inyour laboratory.Prof. Rettger—Well, if that is your desire,youd better send it to a collar button factory.Prof. Stalker says when God created manhe at the same time created an airship (heirship).Paradise—Bachelor.Paradise Lost—Benedict.Paradise Regained—Widower.—Exchange.Arma virumque cano, Troiae qui primus aboris * * * Italiam.H. (translating)—In the beginning a mancame to Italy from Troy with a dog under hisarm.A schoolmaster was called upon by an indignant mother. For my part, gabbed the goodwoman, I cant deceive what on earth edification is comin to! . When I was young, if a galonly understood the elimens of distraction, provision, replenishing and the common domina-tor, and knew all about the rivers and theirobituaries, the currants an the domitories, theprovinces an umpires, they had edificationenough.—High School Life.Jim (aged five)—John, whats the Per-gressive party?John (aged five and a half)—I dunno.Julia (aged six, breaking in excitedly)—O,dont you boys know even that ? The Pergres-sive party is where they play cards and changepartners after every game.The professor had just stated a hypotheticalcase.Our patient, he concluded, suffering froma disease of the hip joint, walks lame whatwould you do in such a case?Why—er—why, sir, Id walk lame, too,replied the somewhat mystified medical student.Heres to man: He is like a kerosene lamp he is not especially bright he is often turneddown he generally smokes, and he frequentlygoes out at night.Rev. Sims was distinguished by his longnose. When he came to town the boys wouldlaugh and say, There comes Deacon Simsnose.One day before going to preach he detecteda sore spot on the end of his nose. He put acourt plaster over this, but when he walkedout it dropped off. He picked up what hethought was the plaster and stuck it on the endof his nose. AVhile at church he noticed theboys snicker, but could not think of any reasonuntil he reached home and made an examination. After pulling the paper off his nose hefound that it was off a spool of thread andread, Warranted three hundred yards long.
Source:	http://indstate.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/isuarchive/id/34584
Collection:	Indiana State University Archives

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