isa-normaladvance-1914-00111

Description:	THE NORMAL ADVANCE111Well, said the editor, just tell them thats what they all say. I dont care if you cheek them, but I must have quietness.That afternoon there called at the office a lady. She. wanted to see the editor, and the boy assured her that it was impossible.But I must see him! she protested. Im his wife!Thats what they all say, replied the boy. And forthwith a new boy was wanted there.—Ex¬ change.Teacher: Whats your name, little boy? Boy: The fellas call me Jimmie, but my maiden name is James.An Irishman was newly employed at a lumber office. The proprietors of the company were young men and decided to have some fun with the new Irish hand. Patrick was duly left in charge of the office, with instructions to take all orders which might come in during their absence.Going to a nearby drug store they proceeded to call up the lumber companys office and the fol¬ lowing conversation ensued:Hello! Is this the East Side Lumber Com¬ pany ?Yes, sir. And what would ye be havin?Take an order, will you?Sure. Thats what Im here for.Please send us up a thousand knotholes.Whats that?One thousand knotholes.Well, now, an aint that a bloomin shame? Im sorry, but we are just out.Hows that?Just sold them all to the new brewery.To the new brewery? What do they want with them?By golly, an they use them for bungholes in barrels.THE DIARY OF A DILUVIUM NOAH.Jan. 1. Started work. Trouble with Mrs. Noah from the very first jump. Always the way. She wants a door in the back end of the ark. I stand firm for a window. I shall not give in.Jan. 2. Compromised on a doOr.Jan. 4. More trouble. Walking delegate of the building trades came around and ordered all hands off the job said one failed to have a union card and another did not receive a minimum wage. A few of the animals have arrived. They are out on a sympathetic strike.Jan. 5. Had private interview with walking delegate. Strike called off. State militia not called out.Jan. 7. Animals coming in. Two hippopota¬ muses and one pair of red ants arrived this after¬ noon.Jan. 8. Found a fresh egg in the dodo-birds nest. Hen dodo said she was laying up some¬ thing for a rainy day. Have an idea this saying will live.Jan. 10. Weather bureau predicts a dry spring. Friends tell me it is foolish to be figuring on so much rain. Query—Can it be possible Im on the wrong steer ? Ishgebibble !Jan. 11. Fair and warmer. My private fore¬ cast calls for storms tomorrow. Feel mighty dubious. If schedules go wrong Mrs. Noah will never let us hear the end of it.Jan. 12. 6:30 A. M. Clear weather. Feel more dubious. - 11:00 A. M., clouding up to wind¬ ward. Easier in my mind. 4:30 P. M., Brisk showers since noon. Tra la la.Jan. 13. Still raining. I guess maybe I aint the real thing.Jan. 16. Steady rains since last report. Roof of the weather observatory under water. Weather observatory issued its last bulletin this morning. It read as follows: Continued fair weather.Jan. 17. Everything under water. Our party apparently the only survivors. All of my wifes relatives lost. Its an ill wind, etc.Jan. 19. Shem reports several additions to the red ant family. Cute little cusses, Shem says.
Source:	http://indstate.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/isuarchive/id/32559
Collection:	Indiana State University Archives

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