isa-normaladvance-1914-00088

Description:	88THE NORMAL ADVANCEa fofcePrelude.1TAKE my quill in hand once more, Though by all the ancient Gods Id swore That as long as I remained on earth, To no more poetry would it give birth. But things have happened since that time Which force me now to write this rhyme. And if the Gods of ancient Greece Will grant me time Ill die in peace  Soon as Ive had my little say Ill gladly pass out of the way. Ye Gods! but it will be a joke If I can finish ere I croak, For Ive iaughed so much my sides are sore So I must write and laugh no more. The joke I wish to tell you about Is on a Hoosier—good old scout— He got in bad. He didnt blow it But since Im wise Ill let you know it.The Joke.One time there was a HoosierSojourning in the West, Of all the girls hed left at homeA school marm loved him best. And no doubt the Hoosier loved her,I never could tell just what he thot, For he always kept his mouth closed,For others opinions he gave naught. If hed left a girl back EastFrom his actions youd never know it, For he flirted with the cow girlsAnd spend money—why, hed sow it! But one time I took to watchingThat I would find out for sure 1^ he loved the eastern school marm.If he did, Id suggest a cure. Finally, all of this I did relate,Then he ups and tells me all, sir, Bout the girl in Hoosier state.Swore by moon and earth and sun He would marry her, that he would, sir, For she was the only one.Well, I felt sorry for himFor he surely had it bad, So instead of trying to censureI said, Be true and marry her, lad. When I realized he loved her,Knew my pleadings d be in vain, Knew hed bought presents for her,Knew hed do so again. Then I thought, now I will watch him,Since Christmas time is coming nigh. I will see what kind of presentsFor his Dulciena he will buy. Well, I watched him and he bought it.What it was I couldnt say, Altho I tried hard to stay by himHe gave me the slip one day. When I found him he had purchased,I just saw him pay the bill, And the money he expendedYe Gods! the thought still makes me ill.(I cant find the nerve to tell youOf the amount he did release, Just to keep love letters comingFrom the girl away back East.) Then he picked tip the package,Bolted straightway for the door, Beached the street and smiling sadlyFor the express office he madly tore. At the office I heard him warble,Send this parcel right away. Value? Eighty dollars.Must be there by Christmas Day. Soon as he had sent the package,Turned and heaved a heavy sigh, Blushed a little red and murmured,
Source:	http://indstate.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/isuarchive/id/32536
Collection:	Indiana State University Archives

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