Unionville High School, The Graphic, 1948, Page 61

Description:	A Chinese university student, who had been invited to thepr --sident’s reception, prepared for the occasion by memorizing phrasesfrom an etiquette book. He had the polite phrases memorized^ so well infact, that when a cup of tea was handed to him, he solemnly responded,“Thank you, sir or madam as the case may be.”“Lady, if you will give us a nickel my little brother’ll imitate ahen.”“You mean he can cackle like a hen?” asked the lady.“Naw,” replied the boy in disgust. “He wouldn’t do a cheapimitation like that. He’ll eat a woim.’’If a fellow tries to kiss a woman and gets away with it, he’s a man;if he tries and does not get away with it, he’s a brute; if he doesn’t try, butwould get away with it if he tried, he’s a coward; but if he doesn’t try andwouldn’t have gotten away with it if he tried, he’s wise.The farmer worked his way through college milking cows--justskimmed through.Then there’s the one about the man who rushed into a Texan saloonand yelled “Fire! ” Everybody did.The English language is a funny thing. Tell her that time standsstill when you look into her eyes, and she’ll adore you, but just try tellingher that her face would stop a clock!!!It was a very smart man who said “Never tell a teacher where toget off unless you are a bus driver.’’Don Brock: “Did anyone ever tell you you were wonderful?”Mary Baugh: “Don’t believe they ever did.”Don Brock: “Then where did you get the idea?”Opal Polley: “Have you seen my lipstick anywhere? I’ve evidentlylost it.”Earl Miller: “Why darling, you have it all on.”A boy and a girl were so madly in love that when fate separated them,the boy telegraphed messages of his devotion each morning. Every day for ayear the same messenger boy knocked at the girl’s door, bearing the messagesof undying love.At the end of the year, the girl and the messenger boy were married.An ex-G. I., plenty fed up with being ordered around in the Army, hadjust been discharged. One of the first things he had to do as a civilian was filean income tax return, and again he was irritated at the crisp instructions ofgovernment officials. When he came to the space labeled, “Do not write inthis space,” he was so mad that he scrawled right through it this abruptmessage of his own:“I’ve been out of the army for two weeks now. I’ll write where Iblamed please!
Source:	http://cdm17129.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/hs-unionville/id/452
Collection:	Unionville High School

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