Unionville High School, The Graphic, 1946, Page 60

Description:	Mary Bell: “Who is that fellow over there?He’s been, watching you all evening.’’Joanne Richardson: ‘Oh, don’t mind him. He’sonly the fellow who brought me here,’’Marlyn Hash: “Vernon’s mustache made melaugh.’’Catherine Wilber: “Yeah it tickled me too.’’(Barber using clippers on lady’s neck)Lady: “Is my neck so dirty you have to usethe Vacuum Cleaner?’’Eugene L.: Are you doing anything this evening? ’’Antha Milton (excitedly): “No, nothing at all.’’Eugene “What a waste of time.’’This story takes place on one particular evening as six lady inmates of an insane asylumare gathered in a sewing circle. As they sewedwith imaginary needles one of the damsels spoke, “You know what I wish? I wish that VanJohnson would visit me and take me in his arms.I wish he’d smother me with kisses, and takemy breath away with hugs, that is what I wish.’’As she finished, she arose and left the circle.After she left, one of the girls spoke up, “Youknow girls, Mrs. Blott isn’t going to be with uslong.’’ “Why not? ’ asked another inmate.“Because, ’’ the first one sighed and closedher eyes, “she’s not so crazy.’’Here lie the bones of Sadie Jones,To her all men were terrors;She lived a maid and died a maid,No hits, no runs, no errors.Here lies the body of Seaman FoosbyWho died of a heart attack.His laundry was promised Tuesday,And Tuesday he got it back.Claris Walls: “I have added these figures upeight times, Sir.’’Mr. Weathers: “That’s very good and thoro.’’Claris: “And here are the eight results.’’During a grammar lesson one day MissYoung wrote on the blackboard: “I didn’thave no fun at the seaside.’’ Then she turned to her pupils and said to one: “Willard,how should I correct that? ’’“Get a boy friend,’’ he answered.’’Mary Bell: Doctor, the size of your billmakes me boil all over.’’Doctor: “That will be $20 extra forsterilizing your system.’’Dentist: “What kind of filling do you want?Bob Barrow: “Chocolate.’’Lemmie Peters, who graduated with suchhigh honors in June, is lookin’ for somethin’ light an’ remunerative.Next t’ bein’ mistaken fer a wealthy widder,th’ most dangerous thing is lookin’ like adeer.Bein’ optimistic after you’ve got ever’-thing you want don’t count.A good story teller is a person who has agood memory and hopes other peoplehaven’t.The Reverend George G. D. Kilpatrick tellsabout the Scotsman who, in his earthly career, was noted for his constant querulouscomplaining--nothing was ever right. Finally he died and went where all good Scotsmen go. There on the golden street he metan old friend, who said to him, “Well Alec,you’ll have nothing to complain about, atlast.’’Alec immediately pointed to his halo andreplied indignantly: “D’ye ca’ that a fit?’’Th’ first thing a feller does when he’s heldup is change his mind about what he usedt’ think he’d do.
Source:	http://cdm17129.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/hs-unionville/id/353
Collection:	Unionville High School

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