Harmony School, 2002, Page 249

Description:	My God!Convocation Wasnt Lame!See, when 1 first went down there, I didnt want to go. I mean,were always having these things, and theyre never any good.But then, this guy started blowing into this metal thing, withall these shiny levers and shit. And there was this womanshaking a gourd or something. And then they started singing inthis language, and it was like, whoa, like being at Chi-Chi s!And that was good because it was almost lunch, and then we gotout early. It wasnt stupid like (continued on 256)Earth Day Parade turns into EarthDay BrawlA brawl erupted when marchers took a wrong turn into a proPalestinian demonstration Saturday. Confused shouts of Outof the West Bank! and Save the trees! could be heardcomingling over the din of the riot. Harmonys perpetualbubble-blowing machine seemed to only exacerbate theproblem, leaving the demonstrators soapy and foaming at themouth.Mysterious, Shaggy, Blonde,Coated Creature Spotted NearJacks LockerPerhaps due to the bizarre emu sightings at Hardin Ridge,some Harmony School students report seeing a mysterious,shaggy, blond, trenchcoated creature standing next to Jackslocker. Ironically, Jack is never in the same area as thesightings...(continued on 256)249High School: Naptime GoodPreschool: Naptime BadEvery Preschooler knows that naptime is no good. You dontneed to rest, you need to play with your friends, and eat snacks.Conversely, every highschooler knows that naptime is good.Who cares about people when youre tired and need sleep?However, teachers across America seem to be mixing up the twoage groups needs. Preschoolers are forced to have a naptime,and poor highschoolers go all day with no sleepy-resting-time.I have come up with a simple solution to this problem. Whenyou begin school you should be given a set number of naptimes.Youll have these naptimes to use as needed throughout yourschool career. If you never use any in preschool, good for you,youll have them for later on in life. Not only would this betterfit students needs, but it would also help them to learn how tomanage and save for things they may want later on.Kindergartner Found to beShallow, SelfishSome things you just have to see to believe. said Teal Larsen,a student in Tom Hastings Depth Psychology class. Her studyis being released later this month, and she has had a flood ofcriticism and support. Her report is ground breaking in thefield of kindergarten psychology; kindergarteners are shallowand, consequently, selfish. Many parents are up in armsfollowing the release of this report. My daughter is notselfish. My daughter is a princess! said one outraged parentwho vowed to call her daddy and not invite you to herbirthday party. I know its hard to take, 1 mean, I really had(continued on page 256)
Source:	http://cdm17129.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/hs-harmony/id/3101
Collection:	Harmony School

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