Harmony School, 2000, Page 202

Description:	FROM HERE TO HAINES AND BACKPrologueIn these days of rampant Yes-Virginia-There-Is-A-Santa-Claus-But-It’s-A-Wimpy-Little-Town-In-Southem-Indiana cynicism, seventy-five percent of the peoplewho read this letter from Haines Turner will label it a shameless, somewhat sacrilegiousscam. The other twenty-five percent will ask, “What’s a Haines Turner?”For the latter group, Haines Turner is a former member of the Harmony SchoolAdvisory Board who died and went to heaven back in 1996. Haines is a quietly heroicQuaker (I say is because he is still quietly takin’ care of business extra-terrestrially.), whospent the vast majority of his four score and almost seven earthly years doing unto othersas we would have others do unto us. He received a doctorate from Columbia Universityin 1941 and eventually taught economics and labor relations at IU for twenty years.Among other things, he spearheaded the founding of the Community Kitchen andCitizens For Jail Improvement and Juvenile Justice. Due in large part to his enormousenthusiasm and significant financial support, something called Harmony School waslovingly created about one score and seven years ago.“A Letter From Heaven”Dear Jerry,It was a surprise and a pleasure to hear from you. Since I, shall we say, “resignedfrom the Harmony School Board of Directors in order to accept a higher position”, therehave been nostalgic moments of weakness when I’ve actually considered applying forreincarnation, just to savor the joie de Harmonie once again. However, visions of ShirleyMacLaine haunting my halo quickly dissipated that earthly folly. “Haines MacLaine” a real “Stomach Turner”.You can’t imagine how much it pleasured me to see so many familiar names onthe list of people who’ll be dissecting those five simple words that so elegantly describethe agonies and ecstasies of this thing we call life. I suspect you can imagine that I wasable to quickly peruse the list and know who had written to me. Only Jerry Ruff couldtake a request to SIMPLY respond to the phrase, “Everything’s going to be alright”, andturn it into an extra-terrestrial metaphysical scavenger hunt.Let me begin by stating very clearly that rules celestial and rules terrestrial differconsiderably more than what you apparently think. Consequently, I can do little morethan agree or disagree with your hypotheses, make a tactful suggestion regarding some of202your lamer theories, and merely “tch-tch” some of your extremely presumptuousinquiries about this place. For instance, you ask if cell phones, mega-decibel rap,multiple body piercings, Trumpism, NRA fanatics, HMD’s, professional wrestling,telemarketing, daytime soap operas, TV sit-coms, and “other hellish works of thecotton-pickin’ devil” (your words, not mine) are permitted up here. All I can say is: (1)Call it inclusivity, diversitus maximus, or whatever, but compassionate tolerance is oneof the things that makes this place so heavenly for so many of God’s extremely dissimilarcreatures. (2) Conspicuous by their absence up here are people who devoted their earthlylives to getting all bent out of shape over what they sanctimoniously perceived to behellish works of thou knowest whom.I certainly agree that, “Everything’s going to be alright” (or, as youacronym-loving physicians say, “EGTOBA”), is as much of a constantly evolving processas a sort of semi-factual declaration. A hundred years ago, for the majority of workingAmericans, it did indeed often mean little more than a healthy team of mules, survivingmultiple childbirths, and perhaps a new Singer sewing machine. And yes, in modemAmerica EGTOBA averages out to about 2 1/2 TVs, 0.85 VCRs, 1.45 cars, and too manyboom boxes for acoustic tranquility. I would only add, for heaven’s sake, that recklessoverconsumption is certainly a mixed blessing for a society and a maxi-bummer forMother Earth.I enjoyed your medically oriented description of the great healing potential ofEGTOBA, Dr. Somewhat-Less-Than Schweitzer. I think you’re correct in theorizing thatEGTOBA could be the generic equivalent of that wondrous Balm In Gilead that does sovery much more than merely heal the sin sick soul. As you have postulated, EGTOBAprobably works by releasing a naturally occurring substance called hope. Along with amore volatile substance we call love, hope has done more to sustain and ennoblehumankind than any other form of matter. As you so astutely (your word, not mine andnot Schweitzer’s) pointed out, serum levels of hope can fall dramatically in the presenceof toxins such as fear, pain, depression, grief, helplessness, loneliness, and evencynicism. You say that in most cases of hypohopemia, even a small dose of EGTOBAcan elevate serum levels of hope quite dramatically. I wasn’t aware of the vital roletincture of EGTOBA played in Jonas Salk’s struggle to develop an effective poliovaccine. What an unforgettable thrill it must have been for you in your medical schooldays to witness such a dramatic change in the odds that everything, by heavens, was trulyalright on those wards that were once so saturated with iron lungs and hopelessness.You mentioned the critical role of EGTOBA both at the personal level and at theglobal level, but heaven only knows when my cell phone may ring (relax, Dr. Jekyll; I’monly kiddin’!), so I’d like to add a couple of quick thoughts at each end of that spectrumbefore I close. First, if I had to put EGTOBA to words and music, ironically enough, Iwould select “Bluebirds Over The White Cliffs Of Dover” and Tchaikovsky’smagnificent “1812”. I say ironically, because as you know, I’m non-violent,peace-loving, and Quakerish to the core. I think thee and me talked about the 1812phenomenon back in days of yore. Yes, it’s about the roar of cannon, but it’s more about... 3.11 right / Jerry Ruff
Source:	http://cdm17129.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/hs-harmony/id/2480
Collection:	Harmony School

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