Bloomington High School South, The Gothic, 1997, Page 35

Description:	a seniors account of coping with,and overcoming an eating disorderI was young, only 14 yearsold. I was ready to beginhigh school and I wantedmore than anything in theworld to be accepted. I wasoverweight and had been for aslong as I could remember.People reminded me constantlythat I was fat. I decided I wasgoing to become thin. I lookedDefinitions•anorexia nervosa-the self-imposed starvation and fear ofgaining weight•bulimia nervosa-characterized byovereating or binging and vomitingin order to prevent weight gainStatistics•prevalent in 1 of every 250adolescent girls in the UnitedStates and 1 of every 200adolescent girls in the world•about 95 percent of thosesuffering are women(source: The Encyclopedia ofObesity and Eating Disorders)•51 percent of high school girlsand female adults felt better aboutthemselves when they weredieting•women are at the highest riskfrom ages 13 to 17(source: A Fear of Fat byChristine Crumbo, Wichita Eagle)in the mirror and saw a large,what I thought to be disgusting, body. I hated myself.I began improving myselfwith regular exercising and Icut my diet down to almostnothing. I ate less than 10grams of fat in a day. I began todrastically lose weight. I startedout in July as a size 16 and wasdown to size 6 by earlyDecember. Finally, I was moresocially accepted. I was determined to keep things that way.But something strangestarted to happen to me: Iobsessed over food. I thoughtabout food all of the time. Inever ate one piece ofchocolate. When my family satdown to a meal, I almost neverjoined them. I would eat abagel or a piece of fruit as a fullmeal, or I skipped meals.I looked at myself everydayand no matter how thin I got, Iwas not happy. I looked inmirrors and windows everychance I got to remind myselfhow ugly and fat I was. I gotthin to the point where peoplewere questioning my health.When Thanksgiving came, Iate too much at Grandmothershouse. I had not eaten thatmuch in so long that my bodyflipped out: I felt sick. I didntknow what to do so I headed tothe bathroom and threw upeverything I had just eaten. Ifelt much better. I did notrealize it at the time, but thiswas the day I became bulimic.When I atewhat manywouldconsidernormalamounts offood, mymind told meI had betterget rid of thefood as fast as possible. I wouldphysically feel sick after eatinguntil I threw up because mymind would tell me I wasgetting fatter and fatter thelonger the food stayed in mystomach. Throwing up aftereating became normal for me. Icould eat anything I wantedand never worry about itbecause I knew I would throwup and the food woulddisappear. Every meal I ate, Iwould make a comment abouthow wonderful the food wasand head to the bathroom.I had this habit through mysophomore and junior years. Inever considered it a problem.At the end of my junior year,I recognized the fact thatI looked in mirrorsand windows everychance I got toremind myself howugly and fat I was.Henry Rodatzmaybe I was bulimic. I toldmyself that I needed to stopthrowing up all of the timebecause I knew I was hurtingmyself. I couldnt stop. I wouldtry, and then give in and feelguilty aboutsomething Iate. I didntwant to tellmy friends ormy parentsfor fear thatthey wouldmake a bigdeal out of it.My dad asked me one day ifI threw up after meals becausehe noticed I always went to thebathroom. I assured him he hadnothing to worry about. Istopped on and off causing myweight to fluctuate.Finally, I met a friend thisyear who changed my life. Thisperson showed me thatsomeone could actually love mefor who I am, not what I looklike. I realized that whether Iwas five pounds or 50 poundsheavier than someone else, Iwas the same person inside.I eat healthy now, and am nolonger bulimic or anorexic. Ilearned to have confidence inmyself and love my body forthe way I am.mini-magazine 35
Source:	http://cdm17129.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/hs-bloomsouth/id/5286
Collection:	Bloomington High School South

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