MCPL001492

Description: I GOTHICInterstate Contest Won by Bloomington Lad—Jeff Wylie TakesFirst PrizeBy Assassinated Press, Dec. 32.—Francis Earnest Wylie, age 17, sonof Rev. Wylie, North Walnut street,won the interstate gum chewingcontest under the supervision ofMiss Wohlfeld. Every seat in thehouse was taken and crowdsjammed every available corner towitness the big athletic event of theyear. Mr. Wylie chewed three hundred sixty-seven times a minute fortwo hours and seventeen minutesand forty-four and three-fifths seconds. The winner would have gonefor a much greater length of time,but during a sneezing fit he lost hiscud at the above named time. However, he had attained a safe lead,and after the withdrawal of all theother contestants his victory was assured.Eva Souders would have takensecond place, but she swallowed hergum after an hour and a half of hardchewing. Miss Wohlfeld hastilysubstituted her own, but it was toolate and she was forced to withdraw.Emery Hallman bit his tongue sobadly in the first thirteen secondsthat medical attention was necessary. He is recovering nicely at thepest house.Dean Todd—What is elocution?Joe Todd—Its a way they killpeople in certain states.A Northern gentleman, loath toendure the icy blasts of winter, hiedhim to the Southland, leavingfriend wife at home.There he encountered extremelywarm weather, and having no otherundergarments but his heavies hesent the following telegram to hiswife: S.O.S. B.V.D. P.D.O.Mac—What musical instrumentproduces the footnotes?Joe Covle—The shoe horn.If Ivanhoed the bonny brae.And Athelstaned his tunic red.If Friar Tuckd his food away.Oh, what did Roderic Dhu?Miss King—Class, Id like toshow you an old geometry of mine.Ive had it over fiftv vears.Mr. Quinn—That was a horriblerecitation, class. Ive had to do allof it myself.V~r,-\¥kPage eighty-six
Source: http://cdm17129.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/hs-bloom/id/2458
Collection: Bloomington High School

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