Bloomington High School, The Gothic, 1914, Page 80

Description:	Jokes--ContinuedMr. Lewis--If feet are multiplied by feet, what do you get, Edith?Edith Howell--Square feet.Mr. L.--If dollars are multiplied by dollars, what do you get?Edith--Square dollars.It is the Green-eyed Monster.--Shakespeare,orAN ESSAY ON GIBOh Gib! Thou who bringestBad luck; thou who springestAncient witticisms;Lo! to thee, these mournful rhythmsNow are dedicated,To thee are consecrated.--Frank B. Lindsay.Recently I heard a discussion at the Book Nook as to who wasbetter known, Dr. Bryan or Gib. It was decided in favor of the latter.Nothing is more representative of Gibs universal fame than this.Gib has talent in many lines. As an actor he played SeptemberMorn in the popular musical comedy, Up at Halls. As a mathema-tician he published a treatise on 6x6 is 36. From the standpoint ofelocution, his reading entitled Cousin Kenny is superb.Gib has a sweet disposition, from necessity, not from choice. Buthe is not without his weaknesses. One is for the egg shampoo; anotheris for next door to the Book Nook.His smile was not acquired, as some suppose, by laughing at HankWells jokes, but on account of undue curiosity concerning Uncle Ed.Laurens Strain--Miss McCaughan, are you going to the show to-night?Miss McCaughan (angry and insulted)--What show?L. S.--Excuse Me.Miss M.--Youre excused.Lloyd Pinnick--Well, I thought Oliver Goldsmith was a great con-sumer of intoxicating liquors.Miss Mortland--Well, I was thinking the same thing, Lloyd.George Reed--Great minds run in the same direction.Miss Mortland--Kindly give the class a brief summary of Long-fellows life, Josephine.Dr. Piercys Little Girl--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, the great-est of mythological Americans, was born in Portland, Me., in the year1807, while his parents were traveling in Europe. He wrote--M. M.--That will be sufficient, Josephine. I perceive you have itwell in mind.Mr. Ramsey--Joe, the next time you are late, bring an excuse fromyour father.Joe Hunter--Who? Pa? Why, he aint any good at excuses. Mafinds him out every time.Mr. McCaughan--Nearly a generation and a half ago, my head wasgrazed by a bullet in the battle of Gettysburg.Heinie (looking at the Professors head)--Not much grazing therenow, is there?Bob Wiles--Im the guy that put the Brake in Stonehraker.Miss Van Auken--Youre the guy that had better get your Germanlesson.Alice B.--Do you believe that a girl has to go to college to have agood understanding?Mr. Myers (glancing at her feet)--Sometimes nature makes it un-necessary.Miss Mortland asked her English 7 class to write an essay on TheBoy Boys Like. Homer Carnes said he could write a better one onThe Girl Boys Like.Mr. Williams--Why, the Legislature used to grant divorces tosingle women.In History 6, the treaty was being discussed by which the Englishagreed not to fish within three miles of the French coast, and MamieLee burst out in surprise, My goodness, wouldnt they have to haveawful long fishing poles?Page Eighty
Source:	http://cdm17129.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/hs-bloom/id/1392
Collection:	Bloomington High School

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