isa-normaladvance-1913-00033

Description:	THE NORMAL ADVANCE33descended from.the ledge on the hillside to theside of the officer.You may report at Squire Menos office tomorrow at 3 oclock, explained the warden.As Claude stepped from the buggy in whichthey had ridden in silence from the glen, Samapologetically remarked, Its pretty tough,but I am glad it is no worse.g>fcoe Clerks CARL MILLER\TJ HETHER you have ever noticed it or » not, the fact remains that a shoe clerk isa most unlucky chap. I have decided, dearreader, that in your mad search for knowledgeyou have failed to discover why a shoe salesman always looks so glum, and so soured onthe world in general, and arriving at this conclusion I have taken it upon myself to explainto you why this is so.The shoe salesman has to do, you know,with the selling of shoes that fit the buyersfeet. Now if there is anything that bothersthis human race more than bald heads andred noses it is feet. During all the time wreare trudging along this weary road of lifeour feet are continually forcing themselvesupon our notice, and are strenuously demanding that more care and attention be stackedupon them.There are innumerable ailments that ourfeet may take advantage of. The most select of these, I take it, is the gout, for it isonly the rich and wealthy who can afford thisailment. The moderately wTell-to-do must becontent with a few lively ingrowing toe nails,or a broken arch, wThile the poor man mustcontent himself with corns and bunions.You will recall that there was once a greatgeneral. I do not remember clearly whetherit was Caesar, Napoleon or Washington, butwhoever he was, made the remark that an armytraveled on its stomach. You cannot imaginehow at different times I have envied that armyits mode of progress. Indeed, I have very often w7ished that I could go that way myself, asI suspect every other person has who hascrowded a pair of number nine feet into a pairof seven and one-half, patent leather, exceedingly pointed shoes, that have such high heelsas to make one fairly walk on ones toes, andthen has tripped merrily away to a dance. Almost every one has at least once in his life performed some such fool trick. Once is entirelysufficient to make him regret it all of his remaining days.But to return to the subject, you will discover, upon consideration, that these ailmentsare not partically conducive to the making ofeasy sales, on the part of the shoe man. Whenthe gentleman with the brown suit limps intothe shoe store, the waiting clerk should be able,on the spur of the moment, to tell whether thelimp is permanent or simply a passing amusement. There is quite a difference. The formeris habitual, regular, and natural, while onewho is a wyounded hero, only for a short time,occasionally forgets to squint his nose in anguish at every step, and sometimes even forgets which foot the limp is in.Having ascertained this, the clerk should immediately decide whether the gentleman has acorn under the big toe of his left foot, orwhether he. is naturally addicted to rheumatism.Now you think in your ignorance that he ison a highroad to success, and that a sale is imminent, even before the gentleman takes hisseat. However, you have failed to take intoaccount numerous other conditions. One difficulty is that the salesman does not knowwThat kind of a shoe is to be required.The would-be purchaser may wish any combination of any number of the following: Vicikid, patent, gun metal, box calf, kangaroo calf,
Source:	http://indstate.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/isuarchive/id/34478
Collection:	Indiana State University Archives

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