isa-normaladvance-1903-00100

Description:	100THE NORMAL ADVANCE.Edith—Mamma didnt the missionary say thesavages dont wear any clothes.Mamma—Yes, dearie.Edith—Then why did papa put a button in themissionary box.A lady was looking for her husband, and inquired anxiously of a housemaid: Do you happen to know anything of your masters whereabouts ?Im not sure, mum, replied the careful domestic, but I think theyre in the wash.—TheAmerican Journal of Archaeology.I see Blank has stopped college.Yes, he made the foot ball team and that washis undoing. He was half back in Mathematics,full back in Chemistry, and about a quarter backin everything else on his card. Besides he refusedto tackle back work, so there was nothing for theFaculty to do but send him to the side line.—Ex.. .Mother—Johnny, stop using such dreadfullanguage.Johnny—Well, mother, Shakespeare uses it,Mother—Then dont play with him he is no fitcompanion for you.—Ex.In a restaurant. He—Will, you have a lobster?She-—Oh, John, this is so sludden !—Ex.Teacher—Do you believe that the Rock of Gibraltar is really impregnable?Senior—No—o its only a big bluff.—Ex.Yes, it was the hand-writing on the wall thatforetold his doom.What was written there ?A list of examination questions.—Lantern.Prof, (dictating prose) : Slave, where is thyhorse ?Startled Pupil—Its in my desk, sir, but Iwasnt using it. —Ex.She—The ocean has been a dark mysterythrough all ages, has it not?He—Yes, but I understand many people havegotten to the bottom of it.—Ex.She—Were there formerly more actors thannow?He1—Well, before the railroads came into usenearly everybody took to the stage.Teacher—Leave the room.Pupil—I have no desire to take it with me.—Ex.Sans Method, Sans Outline.Vaccinate—Or Emigrate.Practice makes nervousness.Its ours—M. T. H. S., 22—1. S. N., 29.The Hall-Perambulators—Raus mit em.Cholly—Now dont bother to help me on withmy coat.Maymc—Its no bother. Its a pleasure.She—You are the meanest man I ever saw.He—Well, you always say you made me whatI am.Kind Old Man—What is the matter, littleboy?Little Boy—Tommy Jones, boo! hoo! jestswallered one of my marbles on a bet and mamadoesnt low me to play for keeps.Decoyne—Yes, the doctors saved my life, butit cost me over a thousand dollars.Miss Thotlcss-—0, Mr. Decoyne, what extravagance !Mr. Rabbit—I cant get the boys up this morning.Mrs. Rabbit—Why dont you try one of thosehair raising ghost stories of yours ?How to detect sailors in a crowd,—by smellingsalts.The old man toiled till he was deadAnd saved a lot of tin:The boy got stuck on a fair co-edAnd blowed the whole pile in.Kid curlers,—green apples.
Source:	http://indstate.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/isuarchive/id/33857
Collection:	Indiana State University Archives

Further information on this record can be found at its source.