isa-normaladvance-1914-00168

Description:	168THE NORMAL ADVANCESheidler: What have you in the shape of cucumbers today?Grocer: Nothing at this season of the year except bananas.Little Brother: If I wuz you, I wouldnt drink out of that cup. Thats Bessies cup and Bessie is pretty particular who drinks out of her cup.Fitzgerald (draining the cup) : Ah, I feel honored to drink out of Bessies cup. Bessie is your oldest sister, is she not?Little Brother: Yes she is not. Bessie is my dog.The bicycle dealer had just finished a long talk telling and explaining the principles of the bicycle. The lady had listened attentively.I have just one question that I would like to ask concerning it, she said.Certainly, what is it?I just cant see what makes the front wheel go around.A lady entered the mens furnishings de¬ partment.I want to get some mens collars, she stated, but I have forgotten the size.Would size thirteen be about right? sug¬ gested the salesman.Thats just the size. How did you guess it?Oh, murmured the salesman, men who let their wives buy collars for them are usually about that size.Jones had arrived home late, and despite all of his efforts to get in without waking his wife, he was doomed to run into a chair.John! exclaimed his wifes voice.Yes, ansAvered Jones.Is that you John?Yes.Are you sure?Why They Married.Postcards having been sent out to married men with the inquiry, Why did you marry? a large number of responses came to hand, from which the following is a selection:Thats what I have been trying for eleven years to find out.Married to get square with her mother, but never have.Because Sarah told me that five other young men had proposed to her.The father thought eight years courtin was long enough.I was tired of buying presents and going to theaters and concerts and wanted a rest. Have saved money.Please dont stir me up.Because I thought she was one among a thousand now I sometimes think she is a thou¬ sand among one.Because I did not have the experience I have now.Thats the same question that my friends ask me.Because I had more money than I knew what to do with. Now I have more to do than I have money with.I wanted a companion of the opposite sex. P. S.—She is still my opposite.Because it is just my luck.I yearned for company. We now have it all the time.Have exhausted all the figures in the arithmetic to figure out an answer to your question between multiplication and division in the family, and distraction in addition, the answer is hard to arrive at.Drug Clerk: What is it for you sir? Hoffman: A dozen two grain quinine pills. Drug Clerk: Yes sir. Wantem in a box? Hoffman: Naw. I want to roll em home.
Source:	http://indstate.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/isuarchive/id/32624
Collection:	Indiana State University Archives

Further information on this record can be found at its source.