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PEN DRIPPINGSSTUDENTS PROGRESS I?)“As I walked through the wilderness of this world, I lighted on acertain place where was a den, and I laid me down in that place to sleep;and as I slept, I dreamed a dream. I dreamed, and behold”—I saw a youthstanding in a certain place, with his face from his own house, and a bookin his hand. “I looked, and saw him open the book, and read therein; andas he read, he wept and trembled; and not being longer able to contain,he brake out with a lamentable cry, saying, ‘What shall I do now ?’ ”Now did I go to him, and ask, “Wherefore dost thou cry?” And hespake in return, “Sir, I have been informed that I am condemned to go toschool, and I perceive by the book in my hand that I must also study, andI find that I am not willing to do the first, nor able to do the second.”Then I saw in my dream, that he presently came to a great fair,called School. And I did see him enter this place, and he wandered forlornly around gazing upon the wares offered therein. The vendors calledto him, “What will ye buy?” And he replied, “What dost thou sell?”They informed him that their merchandise was called Education; buthe was verily an honest fellow, and answered, “But I like it not; nor do Iwant it.” And he did raise his eyes above, signifying that his trade andtraffick was above such earthly and mundane affairs, saying, “I seek adiploma. Tell me where I shall find one.”At this, they did scorn and mock him, and spake jeeringly thus,“Knowest thou not, fool, that ye must buy our Education first?” But he,unbelieving, cried out, “It is not so!” Whereupon they began to buffethim, striking him with poor grades until he did beg for mercy. Andthere was such a hubbub and commotion raised that the Great One of theSchool sent word to have him brought before him for questioning. Andit came to pass that he was put on trial before the Judge and SchoolCouncil, his indictment being this:That he, his name being Student, was an enemy to and a disturberof the School; and that he had willfully, maliciously, and with intentto harm, made commotions therein, in direct contempt of their laws andregulations.The first witness against him was called Teacher who said to thiseffect, “My Lord, I have known this fellow for some time, and, notwithstanding his plausible name, he is one of the most stupid oafs in ourSchool.” Thereupon the follower and would-be imitator of Teacher, byname Student Teacher, rose and affirmed his master’s statement, saying,“Verily, he is indeed a stupid fellow; upon my word, he would put even acollege student to shame.”There were then several others sworn, to wit: Mr. Bad Grades, Mr.Poor Conduct, Mr. Cut-Class, Mrs. Fail-Exams, Mr. Sleep-in-Class, Mr.Skip-Convo, and General-Lack-of-Cooperation-and-Common-Sense—alltreacherous fellows and ready to betray their former companion. Theyspake a few words in this manner, “My lord, in the past we have beenconstant friends of this renegade and many times he hath condemned ourSchool, saying that it and true Education are diametrically opposite. Heis, in truth, a vile fellow.”This concluding the evidence, then went the jury out to confer, andevery one gave in his verdict against him and unanimously concluded tobring him in guilty before the Judge. And so they did; therefore he waspresently condemned to be expelled. Thus came poor Student to his end.Bill Sanders, Junior. |
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Source: |
http://cdm17129.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/hs-university/id/39 |
Collection: |
University High School |
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