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Mother, complained KattyAnne, I dont feel very well.Thats too bad, dear, said Mrs.Louden sympathetically, wheredo you feel worst?In school, Mother.Are you laughing at me, demanded Mr. Stubbs of his class.No, came the answer inchorus.Well, insisted that learnedone, What else is there in theroom to laugh at?Teacher: Now, Charlie, youmust not say I aint goin. Youshould say I am not going, you arenot going, he is not going, we arenot going, you are not going, theyare not going.Charlie Lamkins: Gee, aintnobody goin?Sonny Barrett: Yeah, I sawyou kiss my sister.Charlie: Er—heres a quarter,Sonny.Sonny: And heres ten centschange, one price to all; thats theway I do business.Magic Bunion Cure Inc.Dear Sirs:For twenty years I had suffered with two severe bunions. Itried numerous cures, but to noavail. Finally, a friend recommended your wonderful bunioncure. After one application mybunions were completely gone. Bythe way, have you anything tobring back the two toes that wentwith the bunions?Sincerely,So you are the sole survivor ofa shipwreck. Tell me how youcame to be saved.Well, you see, I missed the.boat.Hiram Baird: I would like tosee some sort of a suit that wouldfit me.Clerk: So would I.Our idea of an optimist is afellow who buys a life-time pen,while living in Chicago.Mr. Adams, the father of theyoung hopeless, held the semesterreport in his hand and scowleddarkly at his progeny. I have anote from the dean, he said,stating that you have flunkedChemistry, Latin, English, andGeometry. Do you mean to tellme you are a complete failure?Oh, no father, Woody brightlyreplied, didnt I have the mosthumorously-inscribed flivver inschool?Maxine Skinner: (to tramp)Arent you the same man that Igave a whole cake to last week?Tramp: No, I aint the sameman, and whats more the doctorsays\I never will be the same managain.■p.Mr. Hoadley: (to his son whowas returning to school) Edward,dont you let me hear any morebad reports about you.Ed: Ill try not to, Dad, butyou know those things will leakout.Tourist Version: Under thespreading chestnut tree, the villagehot-dog stands.The last word in jokes: An absent minded Scotch mother-in-law.Mussolini, at his cabinet meeting: So I says to myself, says I.What some people dont knowabout driving would fill a hospital.Page One Hundred Seventy-Six |
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Source: |
http://cdm17129.contentdm.oclc.org/cdm/ref/collection/hs-bloom/id/3512 |
Collection: |
Bloomington High School |
Further information on this record can be found at its source.